Van Read online

  With a sigh, she pushes up off the bed and admits as she walks to the dresser to pick up her purse, "I know. It was just a thought, but apparently stupid."

  "Not stupid," I say, again feeling the need to soothe her bruised feelings. I walk up to her, placing my hands on her shoulders. "But you know my limitations. I've given you more than I've ever given another woman, but I've given you my all."

  "It's fine," she says as she turns into me, wrapping her arms around my waist. It's a comforting and intimate move, designed to make me feel better about the situation. I can't fucking help myself, but I return her embrace, to give her at least something in return.

  "Am I still shiny?" she asks again as she presses her cheek to my chest.

  "The shiniest," I tell her. "That won't change."

  She doesn't respond, but I swear I can feel her smile through her embrace as she squeezes me. I accept it, note how it feels good and that I shouldn't be afraid of it.

  But I am.

  It's foreign to me and I'm distrustful of it.

  Distrustful of my own feelings, which is why they need to be kept on lockdown.

  "So however will we make time to get our jollies with each other?" Simone asks as she tilts her head back to look up at me. I note an easygoing smile on her face and the heavy moment is gone.

  "We'll have to choose carefully when Lucas isn't home," I tell her, reiterating the rule about no fucking in the house again while Lucas is there. "There's always a hotel room."

  "You could come by Lulu's and we can sneak off into one of their unisex bathrooms," she says with a tart grin.

  My eyebrows rise as this has potential merit. "Please tell me you're not fucking kidding me."

  "I'm not fucking kidding you," she says with a laugh. "It will be adventurous. Or, I could meet you on my break and give you a blow job in your SUV."

  "Christ, you're going to kill me, Simone," I grumble as I squeeze her again before I let her go.

  "Only if it's death by orgasm," she quips, and the way we went at it tonight, I'm not going to be surprised if that ends up being the case between us.

  Chapter 14

  Simone

  This started good and turned amazing.

  Since our tryst at the hotel a week ago, Van and I have only been able to hook up twice. It's been tough, but in fairness, he's had two home games, and now he's currently in New Jersey, where he and the Cold Fury will battle the Wildcats in game four of the conference finals tomorrow night. They're a tough opponent, and while the Cold Fury took the first two home games, New Jersey got the next win.

  The first time we were together, he took me at face value and came to Lulu's. We broke in the unisex bathroom with some fast and furious sex--me bent over the sink--that left me on wobbly legs the rest of my shift.

  The second time was when Lucas left to go work out. I was in the kitchen making some toast, and Van was on the couch watching the morning news. Lucas invited him to go, and I have to say, he was very suave when he told Lucas, "Appreciate it, but I've actually got plans today."

  Since Van has been more engaging with my brother, this didn't cause Lucas's eyebrows to rise at all. He merely said, "That's cool," and then came into the kitchen to blend a protein drink.

  I shot a glance at Van, who had a slight smirk on his face as he stared at the TV. When Lucas left, he was on me, and let me just say...he was a little bossy and rough, and I loved every minute of it. He put me on my knees, and when I say put me, I mean it was with his hand fisting my hair to push me down. He gave me no opportunity to disagree--not that I wanted to--and then my mouth was full of his cock.

  Van only used my mouth for a few minutes, and then he had me on the couch.

  There was a brief recovery period, then he had me on his bed.

  The only other sexual interaction we had was a dirty text exchange the first night he was in New Jersey. He asked me if I had any fantasies, and I really didn't, because Van is a walking, breathing fantasy in his own right--so I made a quick one up that got me hot and bothered.

  I'd like you to buy a remote-controlled vibrator for me. I'd wear it to the game, sit in the front row so you could see me, and give you the remote. While you're on the bench, you'd torture me with it.

  His response was simple and told me he liked that fantasy a lot, even if it would never come true.

  A picture of him stroking his beautiful cock.

  It couldn't come true, of course, because while Van was playing hockey, he was playing hockey. There's no way he'd be thinking about me and a vibrator while he was in the middle of a game, and frankly, that's the way it should be. Growing up in a hockey household, I understand the importance of focusing on the game.

  So, yes, the week was good in regard to Van and me. The sex was beyond any fantasy I could conjure up, but overall still rated only good because our time together was hampered.

  While the week began well, it turned amazing last night when Lucas called me to tell me he and Stephanie were back together. I have never heard him sound happier in my life, and that meant I was supremely happy.

  It apparently took Stephanie getting hit by a car yesterday to wake Lucas the fuck up. He found out minutes after landing in New Jersey for game three. He walked off the team plane and got right back on the next commercial one headed back to Raleigh.

  Thankfully, Stephanie is okay. She took a bump to the head and fractured her wrist, but Lucas assured me she was fine. More important, their baby was fine. He spent the night with her and is headed back to New Jersey this morning. I'm on Stephanie-sitting duty for rest of the day until I have to go to work. Then Jules is going to stay the night with her. According to Lucas, she was not happy about this because she's all stubborn and independent, but he apparently laid the down law and surprisingly, she chose to behave.

  I knock on the door to Stephanie's apartment, and within moments it's being swung open by Lucas. His face is already bearing a grin as wide as the Grand Canyon, and I can't help but give him all my teeth in return.

  Then I'm jumping into a huge bear hug so I can whisper in his ear, "I'm so happy for you, Lucas. So fucking happy."

  He squeezes me so hard I gasp for air, and then he's releasing me. He nods toward the small living room and I see Stephanie curled up on a chair smiling at me.

  "Hey, you," I say as I walk over toward her. I note the slight bump and welt on her forehead, which has turned purple, and the short cast on her left wrist. It doesn't look that bad actually, as her fingers aren't even swollen, and I let out a sigh of relief now that I've seen her with my own eyes.

  Then my eyes stay pinned on her fingers.

  The fourth one to be exact, and my jaw drops open as I take in the huge sparkler there.

  I turn to Lucas, still speechless. Back to Stephanie, still not able to talk. She grins back at me and holds her casted arm out so I can take a closer look.

  Stepping forward, I carefully let her fingers rest on my hand and I bend over the diamond engagement ring. Sliding my gaze up to hers, I blink away my tears and whisper, "You two got engaged."

  "We got engaged," Stephanie confirms with a choked voice.

  "Oh wow," I say as I turn back to smile at Lucas. I nod to the ring. "You did good, brother."

  "Nah," he says with a wave of his hand. "Stephanie makes that ring look good."

  Oh shit. I think I might swoon. I briefly think of Van, and I'd probably pass out if he ever said something like that about me. I might like some raunchy sex, and I'm pretty free spirited when it comes to that stuff, but deep down...I'm a fucking romantic at heart. I know that's not possible with Van, so it's nice to get my fill of it from watching my brothers and their women.

  "Okay, I have to get going to the airport," Lucas says, and Stephanie stands up from her chair. I turn my back on them and walk into the kitchen, giving them privacy. When I sneak a glance at them, they're just wrapped up in each other's arms, silently holding each other.

  Fucking swoon.

  Finally, Lucas gives h
er a soft kiss with his palms holding her head. When he pulls back, he says, "You rest, okay?"

  She nods. "Okay."

  "I'm serious," he says sternly.

  "And you've got my guard dogs assigned," she retorts with a glare, and that makes me snicker. Lucas just grins at her and kisses her hard this time.

  I putter around the kitchen looking through the fridge and cupboards for something to make Stephanie for lunch later. It seems to take forever for Lucas to get out the door. They keep hugging and kissing, and it turns from swoony to just plain ridiculous.

  Finally he's gone and Stephanie closes the door to lean back against it. She has a smile on her face that I've never seen on another woman, and it feels like an invisible hand has reached inside my chest and is squeezing my heart.

  She is totally fucking gone for my brother.

  Just gone.

  When she finally seems to come back into focus, she turns her face my way and grins. "Your brother is amazing."

  "He's all right," I say with a laugh. "Now...are you hungry? Want some tea? Your wish is my command."

  Stephanie pushes away from the door and snags her purse sitting on a small table there. With mischief in her eyes, she says, "I want to go out to breakfast."

  "No way," I say with a firm shake of my head. "Lucas said you were to rest."

  Her eyes practically twinkle with evilness. "Lucas isn't my boss. Neither are you. Now let's go."

  --

  With a sigh, I stir my cup of coffee and just stare at the happiness sitting across from me. We hit a local diner within easy walking distance of Stephanie's apartment, and she ate a hearty breakfast. She gave me a play-by-play of what happened yesterday when Lucas showed up at her apartment. She also admitted to me with red cheeks that she had been acting pretty foolish and she was more than grateful that he came.

  "You two are great together," I say with a dopey smile on my face. "And just so you know, I plan on spoiling my niece or nephew ridiculously, so get used to it."

  "Noted," Stephanie says with a sharp nod of her head. She picks up her tea and holds it in front of her mouth, both elbows resting on the table as she peers at me over the rim. "Can I ask you a personal question?"

  "Sure," I say with a shrug and a smile.

  "Is there something going on between you and Van?" she asks hesitantly.

  The smile slides off my face and I can feel my cheeks heat up.

  "Never mind," she says with a smirk. "Your face says it all."

  "Oh God," I say as I put my forehead in my palm and groan. When I look back up at her with wide eyes, I ask, "How could you possibly know?"

  Stephanie takes a sip of her tea and then sets the cup down to the side. She leans forward, putting her good arm on the table, the other resting over it lightly. "Lucas told me about you kissing Van in that bar to stop him from sleeping with some chick."

  My mouth drops open in astonishment. "He told you about that?"

  "Oh, don't worry," Stephanie says. "He doesn't think there's anything going on between you two. In fact, he said you only did it to shock him. A deterrent so to speak."

  I shake my head hard. "No, not about the kiss...he told you about why he was in that bar? Um...you know...to um..."

  "Hook up with a woman?" she asks as she wrinkles her nose. "Yes, your brother believes in transparency, I guess."

  "He didn't," I say as I stare her dead in the eye. "Hook up with that woman. Any woman. I know you two were broken up, but he remained faithful."

  "Well, he did go to that woman's house," she says wryly.

  "Holy fuck," I gasp. "He did? He didn't tell me that. Only that nothing happened."

  Stephanie gives me a wan smile. "I could have done without the details, but there may have been some groping going on, but he just couldn't go through with it. I'm cool with it."

  "Are you really?" I ask, narrowing my eyes at her. Studying her carefully to make sure that there is nothing that's going to mar their beautiful relationship.

  "Really," she says with a firm nod, and then turns the tables back on me. "Now tell me about Van. Lucas is convinced that kiss was just a ploy you used, but I saw something on your face that night we grilled out steaks. You have feelings for him."

  "No," I say adamantly with another shake of my head. "I lust for him. I don't have feelings."

  Stephanie cocks an eyebrow at me with skepticism.

  "Seriously," I tell her. "It's just sex. Dirty, secret sex, and honestly, I can't get enough of him. He's so damn good too. I've never been with someone like him. He's so demanding, and alpha, and he does things to me that have me seeing stars, and--"

  Stephanie holds up her right hand, palm out, and my mouth snaps shut.

  "Okay," she says carefully. "You're telling me more than I needed to know, and that's cool. I like sex a lot too."

  "Well, I don't want to hear about your sexcapades with my brother," I interject hastily.

  "Yeah, wasn't going to tell you that," she deadpans. "But seriously...it's just sex with you and Van?"

  "Well, I mean...he's such a mystery, and yeah, I'd like to crack him open and analyze what makes him tick."

  "He's totally antisocial," Stephanie muses.

  "Not really." I feel the need to defend him. "I mean...once you get to know him."

  "And exactly how well do you know him?" she asks, and my stomach flips over.

  I don't know him at all. I know what he tastes like, and that he loves it when I scrape my teeth on the underside of his cock, but I really don't know him at all.

  "It's just sex," I reaffirm. "And I'm fine with just that."

  Stephanie picks up her teacup, takes another delicate sip, and puts it back down. When she looks at me, she says, "I'm going to give you some unsolicited advice."

  I struggle not to roll my eyes, but honestly...it's so cute her playing concerned family member now that she has a ring on her finger. My tone is droll. "Well, you are practically my sister, so give it to me."

  "You need to tread carefully with Van," she says slowly. "I think he might actually be a lot like me. With your brother, it was only sex between us to start. But feelings do get involved. You can't be intimate with someone and it not have it happen to some extent. And I can tell you have a heart of gold, just like your brothers. But Van may not ever have the ability to give you more. I don't want you to get hurt, so all I'm saying is to be careful. Protect yourself."

  Her words weren't needed. I knew this myself, but they do add validation that what I'm doing with Van is a slippery slope. Still, I put on a brave face. "I appreciate that, and yes...I think I know that. Van made it clear that he has nothing to give other than just some amazing sex, and I'm cool with that."

  "Do you think it's a good idea to keep it secret?" Stephanie asks.

  I shrug. "That's Van's doing. He thinks if Lucas and Max knew, and they saw how little he has to give me, it wouldn't be good at all. Could ruin the team camaraderie."

  Stephanie nods. "I understand that. But the truth has a way of coming out."

  "You think I should tell Lucas and Max?" I ask her curiously.

  She shakes her head. "On the contrary, your sex life is your business. I don't think Lucas or Max have any right to know that about you. I'm just saying...be careful is all."

  "Okay," I murmur, and she reaches a hand across the table to squeeze mine in solidarity.

  "I'm always here for you to talk to," she whispers. "So weird...I've never been a confidant to someone, but I think I'd like that."

  Laughing, I pull my hand back. "Okay, confidant...I need to tell you something else."

  "What?"

  "Well, I've been working at a bar/restaurant called Lulu's," I tell her.

  Her eyebrows furrow inward. "I though Lucas said you were working at a call center."

  "Yeah...I lied. I can't really tell them, because Lulu's is a lot like Hooters. Except the uniforms are sluttier and the wings aren't as good."

  "Oh," she says in surprise as she picks up her cu
p to take a sip. "Again...I don't think that's any of their business."

  "I'm glad to hear you say that, because I'm thinking about taking on a job stripping on the weekend--"

  Stephanie sucks in air and then starts choking on tea. I become immediately alarmed, but she holds her casted hand up as she coughs, beating on her chest with her good hand. I wait for a few moments, and she finally gets it under control. I watch as she goes for her water glass, takes a tiny sip, and then looks at me like I'm crazy. "Stripping?"

  "It's respectable," I mutter.

  "No, it's really not," she says.

  My head jerks back. "I didn't take you for a prude."

  Stephanie rolls her eyes at me. "I'm not a prude and there's inherently nothing wrong with it, but what I mean is that your brothers won't think that. They will go absolutely apeshit if they find out. This is not a good idea."

  "So let me get this straight," I ask her with a cocked eyebrow. "You have no problem with me having a secret, illicit affair with Van, or working at a job where I dress slutty...you just don't want me taking my top off?"

  Stephanie actually snickers at me as she shakes her head. "No. I think if they found out about Van, they'd wonder if you were okay, but they'd stay out of it. I think they'd be pissed if they knew you worked at Lulu's, but again...you're dressed for the most part. But they absolutely would blow a gasket if they knew you were stripping. Bad, bad idea."

  With a sigh, I cross my arms over my chest and give her a tiny glare. "You're really hampering my plans."

  My coworker at Lulu's got me an interview with the owner of the strip joint she dances at. All I had to do was give him about a two-minute, fully clothed dance so he could see if I could actually dance. I thought it weird he didn't want me to take my clothes off, but he came across as a pure professional, so I was glad about that. Not that I'm averse to taking off my clothes when there's sexy music playing and the mood is right.

  "Seriously, why do you want to strip?" she asks.

  "Because I have no clue what to do with my life, and I have bills to pay. I take that responsibility seriously."

  "I'd just caution you to think about it," Stephanie says, telling me something I already know.